Text says,Text says,‘Gurda wore her diaphragm on her head, signaling her ticking biological clock!’Acrylic on oil? on canvas about 20″X16″.

When Mrs. Breen first saw this original she immediately asked, “Why is she wearing a diaphragm on her head!?” This is a question I have striven to answer with my acrylics over the past couple of days. This painting is packed with juicy breeny symbolism against a background of ancient cyanobacteria! Gurda’s many arms hold lipstick, to attract a mate, Venus of Willendorf fertility figurine, a hand held in greeting and flaming biological clock sporting X and Y chromosomes. Her other hands hold the things she gives up, birth control, booze and cigarettes. In the tree above, a couple are k-i-s-s-i-n-g, first comes love, then come marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage. And of course, when the bough breaks…

Now here is the fun part. On the back of the painting there are longitude and latitude coordinates for another painting,

This painting is hidden somewhere in New England. If you have a handheld GPS unit, you will be able to get within 15-40 feet of it, then you search. If you win this auction I’ll give you my cell phone number so I can give you clues – I mean, it will be pretty easy to find when you get to the coordinates. If the bonus painting lies unclaimed for a month after I’ve sent out ‘biological clock’ via priority mail, I’ll put the coordinates on the back of another painting for sale. If for some reason, somebody stumbles upon the painting and takes it, then I reserve the right to replace it with another painting of equal value.

To bid on this painting, go here.




Text says,‘Although Brenda Imprisoned her reason in a book…Her Anger Refused Her Rapture!’ ‘Acrylic on oil? on canvas about 30″X26″

This is a large old painting which I have substantially reworked except for the face,which might have a tiny smudge or two. The face is so good, anything I did to it would lessen its power, even I see that! I’ll usually, blithely, slap-dash anything! But I have brought this back from the bottom of the barn, you can see the bad condition from the before photo. If you want a higher rez shot of the whole painting so you can look it over, let me know and I’ll email it to you.

She seemed to look a mixture of crazy and angry when I started painting, so I bundled the two ideas together. Yikes, she’s looking at me from the mantel right now! Crazy queen bee! I can’t take my eyes off of her.

Can you imagine being her, walking around the easel to where the original artist was painting, looking at this artistic insult? Which you sat hours for? Is that what you think of me? A crazy angry person? I’m not paying for that! Right in the trash! Of course, this is where someone picks it up and sells it at the flea market. That’s why I get so many of these oddly expressed works, they’re like the photos that go in the trash when the kid is smirking, or the subject is yelling at you that there isn’t enough light. But these throw aways are always more interesting than the sanitized pap that usually passes for portraits.

The bunny ear fingers coming out of the back of her head have my finger prints on them in acrylic paint, one came out good, one’s a little smudged, enough to convict me on anyway.

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