Neocon Liberation Army



Text says,‘With enlistments down, the Neocon Liberation Army Kidnapped Patty Hearst To Fight In Iraq!’ Acrylic on oil? on canvasboard, about 24″X20″.

Mrs. Breen told me this one looked like Patty Hearst and it spiraled out of control from there.

I was a senior in high school the year Patty Hearst was kidnapped, and it seemed, at the time, pretty ridiculous. The Vietnam War was almost over and revolution, so to speak, was already out of fashion. The kidnappers were crackpots out of step with the times who had missed their chance. However, when ‘Tania’ first showed up in the news, all paramilitary and toting a gun, there was something incredibly sexy about her. My friend Tim was especially ga ga about her, as he was later about Nadia Comaneci, these two women who had 70s ‘greatness thrust upon them!’ Well, I guess in Patty’s case, if you consider being kidnapped by terrorists, sexually assaulted and brain-washed, ‘greatness.’ Yet, there she was in grainy tv images, a fantasy figure, you will satisfy me or take a slug, she says, now take em off…slowly, slowly! This ain’t no party, this ain’t no disco, this ain’t no fooling around!

Of course, the neocons know a good sex symbol when they see it, and if anything drastically needs sexing up, it is the Iraq War. I put the neocons on the SLA Hydra, making it a NLA Hydra. I also added Jason from Friday the 13th, it being Halloween and all, and a blue meanie, Bush’s candidate to take over Rove’s job.

Tania – you’ve still got it! Don’t get hurt, we’ve all been kidnapped!

To bid on this painting, go HERE.

Pop Art Breen



I’ve been noodling this one for awhile. I got the original on Ebay a few weeks ago and thought I might retread devil boy, but I’ve already done two and couldn’t bring myself to hack out another one. I squeezed my brain, wringing out the old washcloths that pretend to be my prefrontal lobes, any toothpaste at the bottom of this tube? but I didn’t like anything I came up with.

Then my pal Fritz came to the rescue! He invited Eddie and family to go on a trip to the Boston Museum of Fine Arts. I could have wandered around all day but after about five minutes my son decided that he had no bones in his body and shackled himself to my leg, forcing me to lurch through the galleries like Frankenstein. There was only one thing to do. I wheeled into the nearest gallery – Pop Art.

Here I saw cardboard boxes hanging importantly on the wall, rescued from some dumpster by Robert Rauschenberg. Now THAT is ART POWER! Here. This is my garbage. It is important because it is not important, it is mundane! Hang it up. Now write me a check and be snappy about it! WOW! I love him! Well, you can’t get better inspiration than THAT!

Most of the background of my new painting is rendered in a Rauschenberg style with a cardboard ‘combine’, to which I’ve taken the liberty of gorilla-gluing cat litter(clean). Catboy’s shirt is perfectly yellowed in areas that the glue comes. I also put in a non-Warhol style Campbell’s soup can, but I’ve redesigned it with the Scottish Campbell family tartan. I also tried my hand at making a Wayne Thiebaud style piece of pie, but added eyes to it to make eye pie.

To bid on this painting go HERE.To see a more detailed shot of the painting above click HERE

Once you have a single taste, it is all too easy to get hooked. I’m taking about something very serious here. Breenaholism. Unclefun is known to go on breen benders. He has been sending me skull-print checks over the last few years, accumulating dozens of paintings, gathering one of the finest collections in the world. His walls are a constant party. The neighbors call him to turn down the art! I am so damn jealous, he has many more paintings than I do!

There is a 12-step program to wean oneself from breen addiction, but it requires buying 12 more breens. If you are a breen collector and have a similar dramatic display, please email me a photo so I can put it here!

The Culture Vulture of the Roanoke Times just did an article on me, check it out HERE.

Watch Out!

For those of you who are repeat offenders, uh, visitors, you’ll notice that I’ve embedded a LiveJournal blog into this website, and I’ll continue to tweak the whole site’s design and usability, to bring it into the current century. I liked Blogger, very simple and easy to use – but it just stopped working one day and I think it was perhaps my server side, but I wasn’t going to rehost just for that. Best new thing – you can now leave comments to reflect your strong approval, astonishment or disgust, and I’ll cheerfully review all! So stoke my ego or tear me a new one! Yeah!




Text says,‘Barbara was arrested by God for bearing the Anti-Christ…but as an enemy combatant, she was not allowed a lawyer!’Acrylic on oil? on canvas about 20″X16″.

happy people


I thought I took a before photo of this, but I can’t find it. Text says,‘I see happy people!’Acrylic on oil? on canvas about 24″X20″.

We had a few families over on the 4th of July and after awhile a few of the kids migrated to my easel. They asked if they could paint, and always ready to steal ideas from kids, I asked what they would do to the sad lady on canvas. Within a moment or two, they came up with “I see happy people!”

Brilliant! Of course!

Now, I’ve already worked this joke with a Jesus portrait, “I see dead people.” But I could see how well this worked with the subject’s sad countenance, and as I was slightly drunk by then, I offered them half of what I could get on Ebay for the idea. MONEY? FOR IDEAS? They were in.

However, another problem arose. My 6 year old son, usually quite oblivious to my renderings, was abnormally sensitive to the few smiley faces the girls had painted. He became quite upset, as though being threatened by an evil clown, and I had to remove the painting to the top of the hutch while he jumped at my arms, trying to destroy the offending work! Yikes! What a critic! Usually he yawns at my monstrosities,but expose him to a few smiley faces and he FREAKS OUT!

Maybe my son is into something here, the tension and terror of the smile! Though I tried to hide the painting, tonight he saw the picture on my computer and knows what’s going on. Right now, as I write this, this very moment, my son is running amok with a pencil stabbing a piece of paper, saying this is what the painting is going to look like after he gets his hands on it. “DADDY! I AM GOING TO DESTROY THAT PAINTING!!!” He just said this! I have to lock it in the office to keep it from harm. TIME FOR BED DAMMIT! YOU ARE NOT TOUCHING THAT PAINTING! DAD MAKES GOOD MONEY FROM SELLING HIS ART! WHERE DO YOU THINK THE MONEY COMES FROM TO BUY YOUR CANDY AND TOYS!!!! Whew!.

To bid on this painting, go here.