Check out my Slide Show!

I know you’re thinking, what the hell was that guy on when he painted this! One may actually think that quite often when drinking in a breensterpiece. But this one has a particularly high and powerful dose of breeniness. Honestly, I wasn’t tripping when I painted this (Do they even say “tripping” anymore?) I haven’t done that kind of thing in years and years and years, although, as you may have noticed, there has been a bit of a residual effect.

Every day I work out and eat my vegetables and pound down Evian in an effort to counteract the effects of my early years, usually all for naught. I nod off most days at 3:30pm no matter where I am or what I’m doing, drool collecting on my collar.

With this work, I just wanted to make this painting super colorful! But after I did, the flashbacks started popping like paparazzi strobes at a Lindsey Lohan sighting. If you stare at this painting long enough and wave your hand in front of your face you WILL see trails – well, at least I do.

I’m kind or perturbed because I can’t find my before photo of this painting. I know I took it! But it has vanished, so I had to take a copy of the breen and black out all the parts I painted over, that’s what you’re seeing in the slide show. This young lady looked so earnest and determined, like she was capable of anything,in a Gordon-Liddy-holding-your-hand-over-fire kind of way. After I started painting, ideas started crowding around the canvas, so I stuffed 3 and a half of them into it.

Text says, ‘Self-inflicted stigmata is just as holy in a gun culture!’ A very determined and serious woman has obviously just accomplished this. On the left hand side of the painting, in an attempt to answer that age-old question, ‘What would Jesus do?”the text says, ‘ Jesus would pull the trigger’. Jesus seconds this, pointing out “I’d have to!” while levelling a firearm at his own hand. On the right hand side of the painting, a broken-hearted nun is about to go postal -‘She would do anything for Jesus…but share his love!’ While Jesus in the bottom right hand corner responds, ‘I can’t help it, I love everybody!’ The subject’s halo is a pie chart showing the percentages of major religions in America at this moment. About 24.5”X8.5” including painted canvas and frame, acrylic on oil? acrylic?

This painting is now up on Ebay if you must possess it!