Still Life Gone Wild!

The type says – ‘Paintings Disguise Themselves As Gas And Food In Order To Sell During These Difficult Economic Times!’
Painting is 17.25″X13.5″”, acrylic on another acrylic canvasboard painting including painted frame.

Unfortunately, I misplaced the prebreen on this one! As we hurtle toward the Great Depression of the 21st Century why not blow the last of your worthless currency on this hastily wrought canvasboard? I have placed an oil well, more food and a gas pump into this still life in order to increase the paintings value! The work depicts food and gas so you can imagine yourself full and always supplied with cheap fuel! The hamburger eating former teapot gas pump shows a fuel price of 32 cents a gallon, the lowest I remember it being during my lifetime. The pighead oil well blows a gusher while our dollars burn. The type rotates around my colon while the word food languishes in my divert√≠culos, ouch! The corn ear near “gas + food” is both gas and food these days.

To bid on this breen, go HERE!

Hair Crimes

I feel bad about all the ladies who are swept up in this FLDS thing, but when you have glorious, unashamedly, monumental HAIR and a mono-brow, you are going to be slapped into a breen, slam-dunk, case closed. Actually, anything with a mono-brow necessitates breening, regardless of the subject or meaning. This is a deeply embedded law of art, going back through the fibers of millions of children and teenagers,who recklessly scribble into public library magazine photos on a daily basis.

But these women are really stuck between a rock and a hard place. It sucks to have a God who makes you marry a smelly old man and submit your kids to statutory rape, doesn’t seem fair. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t!

Like most people, when I first heard about the FLDS issues, the underage girls being married off in gaggles to old men, I was cheered by the raids on their weird compounds. But as I learned more, and saw the anguish on the mother’s faces as their children were ripped from them en masse, I was not so sure. The government will have its trophies.

What drama! With pastel prairie dresses and improbably high hair, these ladies haunt the courthouse like pioneer Stepford ghosts, wailing for their lost children! The sadness seems deeply specteral! Hairy Dr. Quinn Medicine women, ready to wash Christ’s feet with their tresses! From an art standpoint, the image made me giddy.

But I actually didn’t think of this as a topic for a painting until I glimpsed a polygamist wife sporting a serious mono-brow, very plain and shell-shocked. At that point my arm flung itself across my table, scattering tubes of paint and brushes to make room for my impending breenosity.

This work is clearly influenced by African barbershop sign art. One of my paintings volunteered, begging, me, me, me! So I plucked it out of another project and went to work.
The type is a beauty shop sign for ‘FLDS Coiffeurs, to get him in the mood!” First thing I did was give my subject big hair and a mono-brow. Then I gave her a red dress with a P for polygamy and prisoner(ala the Scarlet Letter). I see her branded by society at large as a kind of reverse adulterer.  In Accra barber shop sign fashion, I’ve made three different hairdos. In the upper right hand corner is a government trophy plaque with a ladies scalp, surrounded by a long braid. Hair falls down onto Christs’ feet, which are poised to be washed. 

To buy this breen, go HERE.