Bee Beard Twitter Breen

This is a social network themed breen, Twitter in particular. I gave Edwina here her own Twitter account from which she has been commenting her thoughts as she’s endured breenishments – the first time any of my works have been given the opportunity to complain publicly!

I’m sure she’ll have lots more to say now that she’s for sale – just go to Twitter and search for ‘artismylife’, which is her username. She is being followed by close to 600 people at the moment I write this, but I’m sure that will grow. Many of the icons buzzing around her head are of Twitter users I’ve interacted with and many are just made up. A bird sits on her shoulder – quoth the Tweeter, "More followers!" What are you doing? is the text over the empty Twitter text box one fills with no more than 140 characters making for ambiguos Haiku-like entries. The text I’ve filled the box with is 137 characters, 3 short. The honey comb on her arm is leaking honey at the bottom. Of course she has a killer Bee beard, giving her either a bearded lady or Jesus kind of look. I’m starting this one at a penny due to economic conditions being what they are. Lets see where this lands!

PREBREEN

POSTBREEN ……………………………..to BUT THIS PAINTING GO HERE

Handarama

I have piles of prebreens lying around and none of them were volunteering for a work-over, so I grabbed this reluctant participant a couple of days ago and strapped him in. I wasn’t quite sure where I was going with this when I started, but his hair reminded me of a rooster’s coxcomb, so I turned him into a giant chicken thing.  He also reminded me of the new Governor of Minnesota in his touchy-feely Stuart Smiley role on SNL years ago, so  I gave him multi-fingered chicken wings. I always forget how hit or miss I am in rendering hands, so I decided to face my fear head on and put a hand on the side of his head.

Then I mused – where am I going with this, what does it mean? I thought of idea after idea, writing them down enthusiastically, then cooling to them. After that, I noticed the ear hole and thought it reminded me of stigmata, which in turn led me to think of Jesus, so I popped him in there too.  Crazy thing happened though – after I painted Jesus, he looked so concerned, I started falling under his spell a little … but I shook it off and tried not to look at him too much. Beware of this Jesus, he is a powerful little savior and will not be denied!

I realized that this Jesus does love me! He does! But my brain finished with the thought, but isn’t IN love WITH me!

My son came in and said, "Dad? Is that a self portrait?
"Well no, does he look like me?"
"Kinda, especially those."
"What?"
"His man-boobs."
This, of course, caused me to paint a crying nun over the offending area – she is upset Jesus is breaking off the engagement. This leaves weird mutant hand-eared chicken man isolated in the work, as Jesus must be talking about the nun. Maybe not though, Jesus loves everyone, including a 7-finger winged rooster freak, who never did any thing to anyone, minding his own business at the flea market until yanked and hijacked into this acrylic indignity!  Oh well! The other ideas I had for the development of the piece are listed on the back of the painting.

BEFORE BREENING

AFTER BREENING

To buy this painting go Here

Be Mine?

Uh Oh! it’s Valentines Day! I jump out of bed and run to my studio to slap together a Valentine breen for my poor suffering wife before she wakes up! I poke her awake with a corner of the canvas.

"HERE HONEY!"

——————————-

She laughs a little but the painting always mysteriously ends up back in my studio, despite my efforts to put it elsewhere in the house.
She is not fooled by the slap-dash nature of my last minute paint concoction. I barely touched the original painting here, besides, a painting like this doesn’t need much because it’s technique already virtually flawless! All I did with this one was slap on a few hearts and the words "Be Mine?!" Also, since I was in between front teeth at the time, I gave him an incomplete mouthful.

As every Valentines day rolls around, I always curse myself for not getting a few V-Day breens out there, but this time I’m going to be prepared! Why not give your wife or girl friend (or boyfriend) the gift that says, "I love you! In a breenish way!" This is not any old breen, this is a poorly executed breen given by the artist himself to his very own wife a couple of years ago! Although she hates it, this doesn’t mean your significant other will! She could learn to live with it and love you in spite of your obvious failings illustrated by your lack of judgement in spending good money on this painting!

To bid on this painting, go Here.

Don’t Fear The Future!

But I can’t help it – I am afraid! Obama will save us…right? This is the 3rd of my New Depression Art Commodity paintings – the PREBREEN of this work was corrupted in my camera, and never made it out alive. This was a painting of a boy and his puppy. The puppy’s eye still exists untouched within the green creature. This painting is about the future, trust, and inevitability. First step in this painting this was to decutesify the puppy. It kept nipping at me until I had it Halloweened in a monster suit, until all it could do was stare out accusingly with its clear, sad, Bassett eye. Then I put an Obama in with a halo, and asked – what the hell are you going to say to this kid? Obama said not to fear the future, and you want to trust him, but things are so up and down – the kid has this look on this face, like maybe we should be watching out for him, maybe he is the monster, but he has this nifty ‘trust me’ tattoo. There is a magic-8 ball in a fang crowded mouth that partially says, ‘cannot predict now’. In honor of the New Year, I painted confetti and the Times Square countdown ball as my head about to explode. I used to have a lot of fun on New Years Eve, but as I don’t have lots left to look forward to as I did in my 20s, I find the weepy auld land syne more a harbinger of doom than a cause for celebration!

BUY THIS BREEN!