Capn’ Klaus

A little late for Christmas, I’m sharing an original, unpiggybacked breen for your perusal. This is a little something I cooked up for Mrs. Breen as a Christmas card. Inkeeping with my latest Captain themes, I turned Santa in a sea Captain and he has a cotton candy beard and holds a candy cane fish!

Sting Rays That Didn’t Kill Me.

The Breen Family just got back from a Grand Cayman Island trip courtesy of Voyage.tv. I entered a contest on Twitter in 140 characters or less describing my dream vacation, and despite my crazy ramblings which contained many <"}))><, I won! My wife, 10 year-old-son and I giggled when we stepped from the plane and were blasted with moist tropical air that licked us all over like Northern popsicles! We checked into the luxurious Marriott Grand Cayman Beach Resort on Seven Mile Beach and Mrs. Breen, who usually has something snide to say about the clashing decor of pretentious hotels was slack-jawed and silent! High praise indeed! I looked furtively around after check-in to see if there were any sneaky marketers lurking around with the intention of selling me a condo, but the coast was clear, Voyage.tv was true to their word!

Voyage.tv
shoots hi-def videos of cool vacations spots all over the world which you can see online, and are fond of giving away twitter contest trips which you have vastly better odds of winning than your local high school turkey raffle! On Grand Cayman, first thing, Mrs. Breen, Breen Junior and I rented car and took off to explore the island. It was great fun terrorizing the local British territory island population by driving on the left only some of the time! Give Way! Give Way! we screamed as we barreled into "roundabouts!"

For our transgressions we ended up in Hell where my son made pals with Satan! Next door to the Hell Gift Shop is the Hell Post Office where you mail old school postcards with the Hell postmark. The Hell PO also has a free wifi hotspot so you can twitter all the hokey photos you’ve shot so far. Beware DATA roaming on your cell phone throughout the islands if you have a US plan as you’ll end up spending $20 a minute, which can add up fast!

Eddie soon joins his son in hell for staging the next corny shot at the Grand Cayman Botanic Park.

A great beach to imbibe and eat under the palms is at Rum Point. It is very hard to leave this beautiful spot until you get the insanely high bill for the crappy sandwich you got at which point you storm off in a drunken huff!

In front of our hotel are manmade reefs full of fish, that the guests feed with bits of bagel swiped from the breakfast buffet.

Things get a little scarier when you sail out to Stingray City, a sand bar swarming with huge, alien, black saucer-shaped creatures with long evil swords for tails, one of which by the way, recently stabbed ‘The Crocodile Hunter’ Steve Irwin through the heart. Captain Dexter and first mate Samuel take us out for several hours on Fantaseas, a trimaran, and assured us the rays were safe as long as we didn’t step on them, which was, less face it, pretty hard to avoid! So I decided to be brave and threw my son in. When he appeared unharmed, I eased in after him and soon found myself being mugged by large hungry monsters who wanted me to drop the stinking squid I’d been given to feed them with. No problem there, here you go, take all of it!

Anyway, it was over before we knew it, and back to reality, but I was inspired to start a Sea Captain painting based on the trip! It’s might say something like ‘Captain Dexter obsessively seeks the great white stingray who inexplicably refuses to eat squid from his lips!’ Many thanks to Voyage.tv for the memorable trip, my son won’t stop saying, you remember when..?!

On another topic – are you in the market for a condo in Washington, DC? Or know someone who is? A Breen collector is selling his beautiful place, which just happens to have Breens hanging in just about every room. See if you can spot them in the link below! Click on the photo below to see the whole place and see if you can find all the breens tucked away. Email me and I’ll send along his email address to you. If you know someone who needs a condo in DC, he’ll give you a $1000 finders fee, or maybe you could work out a deal for some breenage? I don’t know, he never mentioned that!