Racing The Tide



I took some runners and turned them into captains and sailors racing the tide. Years ago, Mrs. Breen and I were strolling the shore barefoot at dead low tide in Brewster on Cape Cod. The tide started to come in and the crabs that were buried just under the sand woke up. They were like little land mines, and we had to sprint in from the beach as they nipped our tootsies! Maybe the crabs weren’t as big as the ones in this painting, but thy felt like it when the little monsters scissored our feet!
This one isn’t for sale yet, its going into my Captain collection.

Are You Going To Eat That?!?!? Again?

Well that didn’t work! Put it up with a buy it now for $700 which disappeared when someone bid a penny. Looks like this one is going to be stolen!
Bid on this breen here.
This is an old but yummy breen which I’m kicking out into the world. Art students may buy it and practice comically falling against it so when they come near a Picasso they’ll know what to do! This painting has never been for sale, I kept it around because I liked it. But now I hate it. Don’t look so shocked.

Text on this painting says, ‘Are You Going to Eat That?’
Several years ago, I discovered I had Diverticulosis, which means that now, instead of eating lots of crap like I used to, I have to eat Kashi cereal and spinach and black beans and graze on lots and lots of greens like a cow in a field. This put a crimp in one of my favorite activities, going to Richdale’s convenience store in Newburyport for their 25 cent hot dogs. You could get 4 for a buck, smothered with onions and mustard, and be guaranteed a pleasant nauseated feeling for cheap. Of course, Mrs. Breen hates this, since she believes these delicious dogs to be as poisonous as antifreeze, so I have to sneak over there. But I took Mrs. Breen’s thrifty sister and commonlaw boyfriend over there anyway.

Walton and Emma

That Richdale hot dog is front and center of this piece. I thought the subject of this portrait looked like William S. Burroughs and this painting is a real ‘Naked Lunch’ moment, before you put the fork to your mouth and take the food into your body – ‘…a frozen moment when everyone sees what is on the end of every fork’.



In my postbreen, the 25 cent hot dog is contemplated with horror. Maybe it’s the toenail on it. Throughout the painting are weird foods I have eaten. Snake, chocolate-covered ants, grasshopper, dog(in China), snails and mescal worm are mixed with not so weird, but unhealthy foods that I love, such as Boston Kreme Donuts, McDonald Cheeseburgers, pepperoni pizza and Smarties. I would uncontrollably eat myself to death if enough Smarties were placed in front of me. There is also a monkey offering a quarter for the hot dog – I never did eat monkey brain, but it seems like the ultimate fear factor food to me so I dropped it in. Bon Appetit!

Voodoo Nuns

I haven’t done a nun in a while, but this girl’s angelic face begged to be put in a habit. What to do with the doll though? Stick her full of pins of course! Taking this tack defined the nun as a Voodoo Nun. I put the doll in a Flying Nun habit as I’ve always thought that regular nuns must be jealous of flying nuns – because Sister Bertrille can fly and also because their convent isin Puerto Rico – nice and tropical! Now the frame is angry at Voodoo Nun for performing such dark arts within it’s realm so is slowly creeping in and will eventually cover the nun in gilt.  ‘This painting’s disapproving frame is slowly covering Voodoo Nun!’

Want to buy it? Go HERE.



Piranha Pizza

Another Captain! I cheated on this one – he was already a Captain, I just jazzed him up a little. I started this piece last October while staying in at Whites Village, a group of cabins along the bay side in North Truro on Cape Cod. But, well, you know, I had too much to drink, played poker til 2am and read supermarket tabloids while nursing my hangover, so not too much painting got done. Anyway, I’d put a pizza in his tortured hands and for months he’s been staring off to the left, holding a pizza, afraid to move in case it gave me any ideas. The other night I had pizza with anchovies and imagined them as little piranhas gathering in my gut to attack. Boom! Done. He will go in my Captain pile for a future show.




Ipswich Marshmen Snowshoe Racing Club

It may surprise some of you to know I snowshoe race. Others who know me well aren’t surprised at all since I’m always bragging to whoever will listen what great shape I’m in and how far I run, bike, snowshoe, whatever, jesus, just shut the hell up we get it!

Anyway, at a snowshoe race in Salem MA recently I noticed the local Dungeon Rock racers had quite intimidating singlets with skull and crossbones on them – they looked glorious and I seethed with jealousy, especially as those stuffed shirts sailed passed me one by one! Of course, my natural misanthropic nature and general weirdness repels those team players with the colorful jerseys I covet. So, with no chance of joining a Team I vowed then that I would create my own! I would paint my own magic piece of clothing. One that would make up for my deficiencies of training and stamina. Here is the design below! I made a shirt on Zazzle and started a club – The Ipswich Marshmen Snowshoe Racing Club! So far I’m the lone member and, realistically, will probably stay alone, sniff. But if you do want to join the club, the only entrance requirement is to get a shirt. Here is a code to get $5 off(over $20) if you order something by 16 Jan?


Breenish zazzle here:
See you in the woods! Or probably not. I never see anybody.

Posted via email from Eddie Breen’s Art

You Have Squid On Your Lip!

This is my latest captain, part of the captain collection I’m stringing together, so not for sale yet. This gentleman was taken out of retirement and really worked over! As many of you know, I travelled to the Cayman Islands recently with the family, and ended up taking a charter with Captain Dexter to Sting Ray City, a sand bar about 4 feet deep, where stingrays have learned to congregate for the past 20 years to get fed by people about 10 times a day. Of course, all though they are gentle, these rays are pretty huge and bump you to get your squid if you torment them by holding it out of reach too long. With the Crocodile Hunter’s well publicized death by getting stabbed through the heart by one of these things, I couldn’t help but be nervous.

Text says, ‘Only The Great White Sting Ray Dares Eat From Captain Dexter’s Mouth!’
Sting Rays dance around Dexter’s head, having inadvertently picked up a few hearts, a Great White Ray rises from the bottom of the piece – of course – all rays are white underneath, the view that you are seeing – what look like eyes here are, I think, nostrils. I made the word ‘Only’ red, so your eye would be drawn to that spot and you would start reading there. But after I painted the squid in, I realized I failed, as you go right to the squid. It looks like it was thrown at the canvas and is soon going to slip to the bottom of the frame. I popped a little self-portrait in there as well, dressed as a captain of course. I covered Dexter’s ear in hair, in deference to my Pelbam idols who believe that an ear should hear, but not be seen.