Fun and Games


Text on this one says ‘It’s all fun and games until the cave fish eats a mime!’ The original subject had cave fish pallor,  so I had a cave fish eat him.  Cirque Du Soliel type acrobats perform nearby.  But the show isn’t a hit as people can’t see what’s going on in the cave – it’s too dark!

This auction finishes on Christmas eve!  Buy YOURSELF a Christmas present for a change! An inoffensive breen, unless you’re a mime, in which case you are saying, “Et tu Eddie?”


No Eye-Contact With The Elevator Saviors


Text on this one says ‘Ellen avoided eye contact with the Saviors in the elevator…but she was intensely curious about how they had won their trophies!”
I didn’t like the way Ellen was sitting down in that hideous bridesmaid dress, so I stood her up, which created the illusion that her gnarly hands were sticking out.  So far so good.  She had a far-away, blank look in her eyes, the kind that you get when you are in an elevator trying to avoid eye contact with others in order to preserve your personal space. After placing her in an elevator, the only logical thing to do next was to pack the elevator full of trophy holding Jesuses.  I always felt that, instead of being hung out on a cross, Jesus should have gotten some kind award – like a Nobel Prize! One thing to note, the only hands in this painting belong to Ellen.  They are perfect in their hideousness, and I did not want to trump them with my own crude stabs at imperfection.  However, as Mrs. Breen noted, I malformed Ellen’s breasts.  As usual, this was not on purpose. I am no Vargas, that’s for sure!


To buy this Breen, go HERE.

Sea Honey

Painting is about 15.75″X17.75″, acrylic on oil or acrylic stretched canvas, painted over an existing painting.


Text on this one says ‘Bees At Sea Provide Honey For Long Sea Voyages!!!”

This is a breen seadoodle, where I’ve turned another old man into a sea captain, although here, his beard is made of bees. I used the word Sea twice on either side of his head, more for balance than anything else, though it is obviously bad writing form.

I signed this one, Eddie Pelbam.  Pelbam is a generic name signed to formulaic sea captain portraits that have been pumped out by the tens of thousands in the US, Mexico, and lately, China. If you look at Pelbam portraits, the signatures often have quite different hand-writing style. I own 4 unbreened Pelbams at the moment and breen them from time to time.  You can’t walk through a thrift store here in Massachusetts without tripping over several.  I love my Pelbams very much and they have provided me with gallons of sea captain inspiration over the years.

Anyway, this is a busy bee breen, a great gift for that deranged beekeeper or fisherman you know – just the thing to push him over the edge at Christmas! Starting off at a penny! Ebenezar Scrooge would bid if he wasn’t fictional!


Click HERE if you want to buy this breen.

The Last Candy

Painting is about 16″X17.5″, acrylic on oil or acrylic stretched canvas, painted over an existing painting.


Text on this one says ‘Grandma Candyhead is sweet, but distant.’

I have to say, when I started painting on this woman, she was pi-i-ssed! I really haven’t had this kind of reaction from a painting in a long, long, time. To keep her quiet I had to cover more and more of her with candy, balancing out the bitterness radiating her hooded eyes! Looking at her was quite unsettling and made me somewhat panicky! Eventually, I covered her eyes with green peppermints and made one lazy.

I also gave her a big set of wax lips, encased her in holiday candy, and essentially reinvented her.  She is quiet now, a sugary version of Lot’s wife. She reminds me of my lazy-eyed, black-clad Nonna, who looked like a man, and who was always sneaking me candy, telling me I was a skinny boy!


To buy this painting, go HERE.