FLASH SALE!

Painting is about 8″X8.5″, acrylic on oil or acrylic on masonite panel, painted over an existing painting.

PREBREEN

The dog just looked like Jesus to me. The text says, ‘He just wants you to love him!’  The original eye of this canine has the same startled, hyper-attentive look my own dog has, which means feed me or pay attention to me.  Usually this look is accentuated by short barks or whimpering.  The eye appears Byzantine in style to me, and, since my dog has a chew toy that resembles a Byzantine halo a little, the dominoes just started falling in my head. I gave Doggod a happy face to lick, a great way to cleanse sin!   This is a cheapy breen due to its small size.  But it is a very good one.  FLASH SALE FLASH SALE FLASH SALE – 1 DAY AUCTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   STARTING AT A DOLLAR NO RESERVE!

To buy this painting, click HERE.

POSTBREEN

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Robert Frost’s Head Preserved In Amber

PREBREEN

Text on this one says ‘Robert Frost’s Head is Preserved InAmber!’
Also,
The Amber’s lovely dark and deep,
My DNA intact to keep,
Till Resurrection do I sleep,
Till Resurrection do I sleep!

Mrs. Breen made a trip to the Maine junk stores a couple of days ago and picked up this nifty Robert Frost portrait.  That night I had a rare breen dream in which I saw R. Frost’s head
in amber.  I have mangled my favorite Frost poem, ‘Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening,’ more than once – but this time I pulled in the poet himself as well.  He’s better off in amber anyway, where he can watch hundreds of millions of snowy evenings.

POSTBREEN

To buy this breen go HERE.

Vampire Cat Lunch

PREBREEN

Text on this one says ‘During a full moon Ellen could only turn into a cute little dog, making her easy vampire cat prey!’

I heard a couple of cats fighting outside the other night and it kind of creeped me out. I thought about going out and breaking it up, but as this occurred to me I almost instantaneously also thought – ‘but what if they’re vampire cats?’ That stopped me cold! I figured I better offer up some fresh art to keep them at bay and my eye fell on this cute little weredog. Dogwood flowers decorate the frame to take the edge off! Poor little thing – what art has to go through to keep me safe!

POSTBREEN

Buy this breen HERE.

All Wound Up!

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POSTBREEN1

This painting was originally shown locally over a year ago.  But I have done a minor upgrade since, changing the text to: ‘This painting will be quiet if you don’t wind up the sea-monkey!’ As this painting has been hanging on the wall for a year, I thought of many more phrases to hang next to this grimacing guy, until I realized I should just state was is plain fact.  That monkey will never slam it’s cymbals together if you don’t wind it up!

The original prebreen was/is a Pelbam sea captain painting and was safe for a while, since, after first painting the frame gold, I thought it then looked too fancy to breen!  But then I hatched this idea, and, well, no painting is safe in my house. This isn’t the first sea monkey captain I’ve done, but it is the first sea captain CYMBAL monkey.  The text originally said ‘Do Not Resist’ which,  was text on the old comic book ads for sea monkeys! Do not resist our completely false advertisement! Buy the shrimp and try vainly to imagine them as tiny apes!

do not resist

On the the original breen I pasted an off-center monkey face on the captain (note the pipe coming out of the side of his head), with the familiar cymbal monkey grimace. The effect here is that your eye darts around, off-balance, and you feel increasingly agitated, the way you would if the cymbal monkey was actually, annoyingly, slamming the cymbals together! Monkeys hook arms around the outside of the painting as they do in the barrel full of monkeys game, and a numerical code describes the meaning of the painting’s elements on the very inside of the frame. The pipe bubble gives the solution to this EXTREMELY simple code. Various Ipswich insects grace the painting including the greenhead fly, the mosquito and the deer tick(arachnid).
FINAL POSTBREEN

To buy this painting, go HERE.

I’m With Stupid

PREBREEN

‘ Although my entire body of knowledge is obsolete, it is the blueprint for my success!’ This work arises from something I read about in December, where the scientists at CERN had reproduced an experiment which showed that neutrinos traveled faster then the speed of light. This blew many minds, as, according to Einstein’s E=mc2, nothing is supposed to go faster than the speed of light.  I believe they are still waiting for independent non-CERN confirmation of their results, but, you know, there aren’t that many goddam particle accelerators hanging around that can measure this at a moments notice. As it was, it reminded me again, that EVERYTHING I KNOW IS WRONG!  The silver lining to this is that time travel is now possible!  Yaay!

Here Einstein is wearing a duncecap with his famous relativity equation on it. The subject is next to a galaxy with a black hole at it’s center, below right is the Large Hadron Collider, with an eye in the middle, the fabled tortoise and the hare are above that – the Hare representing the supposedly fast light(C) and the tortoise, neutrinos(V).  Our subject wears an ‘I’m with stupid,’ T-shirt pointing at Einstein (and my name too.) Above that to the left is The Time Tunnel from 60s TV fame, just made possible by the new CERN discovery! I love science but don’t understnd it well, especially physics, so I paw and whimper at the canvas, mixing my tears of intellectual frustration with the pigments. Boo-Hoo! Don’t wait to bid – this is an especially pompous breen with a high price tag to match!

Buy me here.

POSTBREEN

This Painting is a Failure! But a Spectacular One!

Main text on this one says ‘This Painting Is A Spectacular Failure!  So Now I Just Use It For Storage!”

I originally painted this up into a fierce Haka fish type captain, posted it on Ebay, but the work never reached its reserve and it has been kicking around the studio pissing me off.  I decided to take another whack at it but screwed it up even worse, so I decided to just use it for the storage of ideas that I’ve used perhaps too many times, and text that never made the cut, or that I may use in the future!  I plopped in stalk eyes, lightning, fire, falling stars, nuns, flame people, Jesus, Satan, skulls, cavefish, shamrocks with eyes, flaming heart with eyes, etc. Beard text says, Sea Captains that don’t know they’re dead race the tide forever. Listen to this painting but don’t stare at it or you could go blind! There is a cold spot on this art because it’s haunted! Fpor the good of this art the people have been removed! Body art says, ‘In an effort to maximize painting occupancy, three people have been moved into each subjects allotted space! Although Eddie Laughs at his nightmares, no one else gets the joke. Although my entire body of knowledge is obsolete, it is the blueprint to my success! Cymbals do not soothe sea monkeys! This painting died for my sins! They’re happy, I’m angry, we’re that kind of family! Please don’t notice the other areas of this painting, you are only authorized to focus on this spot!’

This is perhaps the busiest breen evah!
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For sale here –

Good Fish Bad Fish

GOOD FISH

No text on this fish. I found a piece of driftwood that looked like a fish and painted it up, differently on each side.  Usually I leave these things around the woods or the beach where I walk my dog, messages in a bottle so to speak. But this one was better than average so I figured I’d start it at a penny, no reserve and let someone get it who normally wouldn’t be able to afford my art.  Of course, if some wealthy collectors want to duke it out over this guy, I won’t complain about that either.  One side is good and one is bad, so there is a fish here for you, no matter how nice or naughty you are!  This is the first listing for 2012, please give me a few dollars so I can blow them on  lottery tickets! If you buy this fish and I win the lottery – megamillions or powerball – in the month of January, I’ll split the jackpot with you! Now how can you beat that! Buy this fish and maybe, just maybe, with less chance than if you were to get hit by lightning while eating an ice cream cone while catching a glimpse of a cyclops unicorn,  get millions of dollars back in return! Keep your eyes peeled! Two more paintings will be listed this week.

BAD FISH

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=300645350881

If You’ve Found My Art…

…on the beach, in the woods, on a road, anywhere, it is yours to do with as you wish!  Keep it, throw it away, repaint it! But let me know you found it!  I usually leave these little art gifts around while walking the dog.  I want you to have them!  I leave them on the beach in Ipswich, the woods in Willowdale and Bradley Palmer State Forests, or at Appleton Farm.  Be warned though – it takes a certain kind of person to cohabitate with breenishness.  If you find that the eye on that painted rock is examining your soul a little too closely, you can always get rid of it on Ebay for a few bucks.  Below is the kind of stuff I leave in the woods (but the top one I gave to a friend and the second from the top is for sale on Ebay starting at a penny.)  The third from above is perched on an old car in the woods near the Linebrook Road entrance to Willowdale.  Other art nuggets live in the woods near fire roads not too far from the Pineswamp Entrance.

 

Hell, there’s a tree down there that I’ve been building a face into, I’m sure it has been creeping people out to much to take apart if it has been noticed.  But don’t be scared, pluck the eyes and molar from the tree! The tree won’t come after you, it won’t be able to see.  At least, that is, if you keep the eyes in a covered box.