Breenish Bling

Prebreen

Postbreen

Hi Everyone,

Welcome back to me!

This is the blingiest breen ever, a wooden fish on a wooden plaque framed by GOLD painted rope and infested with acrylic JEWELS, requiring three trips to Michaels and A.C. Moore for the fake DIAMONDS.  It took a long time to glue those little gems, but the result is well worth the effort!  This the rare one that Mrs. Breen wants to keep, and she can have it! That is, if she can come up with my $1000 asking price – I’ll give her first dibs!  The text on this 25″X10″ breenousity says ‘This art is better…because it’s expensive!’  The shark is very bright and shoots crazy sparkles as you move around it,  but the camera really can’t catch the light display, at least, not in my hands.  A little plastic deep-sea diver found on the beach is drafted onto the plaque, and I gussied him up a little with gold paint and fake emeralds.   But he is still kind of dirty and has sand stuck in his helmet. You may have originally thought the shark was smoking a cigarette, but look more closely and you’ll notice the diver’s arm is in the shark’s mouth.  The diver is bleeding fake rubies.  This is the only breen in existence that is signed with acrylic diamonds.  Nothing says elegance like a shiny, glittery breen, and since it is so expensive, you know it must be good!  I’m not putting this one up on Ebay – if you are interested in this piece shoot me an email and I’ll give you my Paypal info.

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Substandard Art

This one says ‘Warning! Substandard Art! This work must NOT be hung in a place of prominence!”
PREBREEN

This is a tiny painting I’ve had kicking around the studio for a while.  It appears to have been painted in a factory churn-it-out mode for island tourists, but honestly, I really have no idea where it originally came from.  I have always been impressed by how crappy a painting this is, and, as that crappiness is the work’s strongest suit, why not brag about it! This is a quicky, cerebral breen you can pick up for next to nothing – a good one for those just starting out on an ill-advised breen collection! You can hang it in your bathroom, under the stairs, in a kitchen cabinet, the garage – some place it is not too often seen!  Also, that way you’ll never get sick of it – every time you see it it will be like a new discovery.  “Hey, I forgot about that! Ha Ha! He wrote do ‘not hang in a place of prominence!’ and I didn’t!”

POSTBREEN