Beauty Treatment

PREBREEN

Since I’ve listed this I’ve changed it already – breened myself so to speak! As I was writing up a Twitter entry I realized what I was writing should be in the painting itself! The main text I added says – ‘Halibut Face Entices Herring To Their Doom – But Is Really A Nice Person! The other text is tiny and hardly visible. It says “This end up!” on all sides, because it does not matter which way you turn this painting, any side works! I also signed this painting on all sides so you can hang it any way you want!

A fellow artist sent her own work to me to breen, and, as usual, it took me a couple of years to get to it. And after all that waiting, this is the horror I concocted! Well, can’t say she didn’t go in with eyes open! To see Anna’s work, unmolested, go here.

The first thing I envisioned was to create a thick ring of herring running around her face. But then I was stumped. Here is where divine inspiration usually comes in to help me finish a piece, but not this time! While I was painting the herring I kept flipping the work and realized that no matter which side was facing up, it looked like its natural orientation. The face was the only thing interfering with this spin art effect. But I wanted to keep some part of the original painting, so that nixed a four mouthed cyclops. Naturally, the solution was to keep one eye and render a slightly cubist halibut face with features pointed every which way! Sometimes you just have to know when to stop!

My inability to know this point is my greatest strength and greatest weakness – that is – if you don’t count my inability to paint a cat to look like a cat.

To buy this painting, go here.

POSTBREEN in
Can be placed on any side!

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You Have Squid On Your Lip!

This is my latest captain, part of the captain collection I’m stringing together, so not for sale yet. This gentleman was taken out of retirement and really worked over! As many of you know, I travelled to the Cayman Islands recently with the family, and ended up taking a charter with Captain Dexter to Sting Ray City, a sand bar about 4 feet deep, where stingrays have learned to congregate for the past 20 years to get fed by people about 10 times a day. Of course, all though they are gentle, these rays are pretty huge and bump you to get your squid if you torment them by holding it out of reach too long. With the Crocodile Hunter’s well publicized death by getting stabbed through the heart by one of these things, I couldn’t help but be nervous.

Text says, ‘Only The Great White Sting Ray Dares Eat From Captain Dexter’s Mouth!’
Sting Rays dance around Dexter’s head, having inadvertently picked up a few hearts, a Great White Ray rises from the bottom of the piece – of course – all rays are white underneath, the view that you are seeing – what look like eyes here are, I think, nostrils. I made the word ‘Only’ red, so your eye would be drawn to that spot and you would start reading there. But after I painted the squid in, I realized I failed, as you go right to the squid. It looks like it was thrown at the canvas and is soon going to slip to the bottom of the frame. I popped a little self-portrait in there as well, dressed as a captain of course. I covered Dexter’s ear in hair, in deference to my Pelbam idols who believe that an ear should hear, but not be seen.

PREBREEN

POSTBREEN