Threats and Presents


When Ann brought this home from the flea market, my first impression was that this was just an angry big eye painting – maybe a copy of a 16th or 17th century work. After awhile, it began to bug me that it was glowering at me. There is a simmering tension in the face, intensely cold, with deadpan eyes that nevertheless somehow convey anger. When you drop your gaze to the mouth, then back up to the eyes, the expression fleetingly appears to flit between seriousness and amusement, but it could just be your own mind playing tricks. Maybe he was joking after all, like the Joe Pesci character in Goodfellas, ‘you think I’m funny? I’m here to amuse you?’As you move about the room, the eyes follow, hammering you with disapproval!  This tension is palpable – a personal warning to the viewer!

So I threw a nun’s habit on him to see what he would do about it.  He tried to leap out of the painting to get at me, so I knew I was pushing his buttons! To jack the tension up even more I gave him an Uncle Sam style pointing finger and and arm cocked with a piece of flaming coal.  This effectively turned him into an avenging transvestite Christmas angel so I wrote -’ Have you been good this year?’ ‘I will only hurl this coal at your head if YOU feel you deserve it!’ This puts the ball in the viewers court and makes the painting all about them.  Makes them the decision maker.  DO you deserve to have the coal flung your way? I also wrote -‘Well do ya punk?’

I softened the edges with Christmas iconography just enough, so that you can get out of the room unscathed, that is, if you exit walking backwards with your eyes on the painting, because you know, if you take your eyes off, that cocked arm is going to let loose and it’s aim will be dead on.

Click on the link below this painting if you want to see a long-winded video deconstructing the piece.


To buy this painting on Ebay, go HERE.
To see a long-winded video describing my thought process while painting this piece, go HERE.

Voodoo Nuns

I haven’t done a nun in a while, but this girl’s angelic face begged to be put in a habit. What to do with the doll though? Stick her full of pins of course! Taking this tack defined the nun as a Voodoo Nun. I put the doll in a Flying Nun habit as I’ve always thought that regular nuns must be jealous of flying nuns – because Sister Bertrille can fly and also because their convent isin Puerto Rico – nice and tropical! Now the frame is angry at Voodoo Nun for performing such dark arts within it’s realm so is slowly creeping in and will eventually cover the nun in gilt.  ‘This painting’s disapproving frame is slowly covering Voodoo Nun!’

Want to buy it? Go HERE.





Text says, ‘Both a +nun+ AND a Buddhist, Sister Rita thought it was okay as long as she felt guilty about her state of enlightenment!’About 12”X9” acrylic on oil?acrylic? on canvas board.

This portrait had a real ‘you are going to get it when you get home mister! I’m very disappointed in you!’ kind of look. So I threw her into a nuns outfit because, well, I don’t have to take that from anybody anymore. I know there are nuns in the Buddhist faith, and I started thinking about that, wondering if there were any similarities to the Western variety, I thought, ‘Are their rulers are made of bamboo? Are they more enlightened?’ A hybrid Catholic/Buddhist nun would probably have unusual spiritual characteristics,, so I gave her a big third eye and a heap of guilt and promptly ran out of space. Professional Buddhist Richard Gere will have to wait for another painting to make an appearance.