Political Clowns From Hell.


Text says – ‘Clowns From Hell Make Women Attempt To Escape From 1965 Again!’

As you can tell from my art, I’m pretty left wing.

I’ve been watching the news with astonishment every night as the Republican presidential candidates battle each other in debates, pushing farther and farther to the right in an effort to prove they are more evil than anyone else up on the stage.  Honestly, I never thought I’d be pining for the good old days when Richard Nixon, socialist by today’s standards, established the EPA!!!   The Republicans somehow managed to turn the whole freedom of religion thing into anti-birth control repression of women.  THIS is their stand in the culture war? They are truly, truly insane.

How can anyone vote for these clowns?  After hearing Santorum’s stand on providing birth control,  I saw this lady in the corner, kind of scratched up and forlorn, locked up tight in that hairdo, and I knew I had to paint something about this. Then Santorum’s main backer made an idiot of himself on TV with the statement that he didn’t know what the big deal about  birth control was – in his day, women held a Bayer aspirin between their knees.  That clinched it, I went right over to my brushes.

I left the scratches on the original woman’s face and didn’t cover her over too much, she’s already been through a lot!  I just heard Santorum say something to the effect that the idea of the separation of church and state makes him want to vomit. I would have put that in too, but the painting was already done.

By the way, this is my first 3-D Breen! When you look at this, everything seems to float over the back-ground due to some optical illusion.  It isn’t very obvious in the photo, but you can really see it in real life.  Or at least I can see it, unless the painting is playing tricks on me.  And Mrs. Breen sees it too, unless she is simply humoring me.  I did not do this on purpose, it just seems to be! I accidentally painted over the original signature on this one, sorry!

To buy this painting, go HERE.


Forgetful Captain Coral


Text on this one says ‘Although he is mostly brain, Captain Coral’s memory is horrible!!’
Also, hidden in the painting is the text, “Where did I put my pipe?” and “It’s in your mouth!”

I have this running list of text blocks, that, chuckling to myself, I write down from time to time, to use in future paintings. This was going to be one of those, but the Captain didn’t like the idea and negotiated his way out of it.  I WAS going to turn him into a ghost and have the viewer avoid the cold spot in the painting, but the Captain was not looking forward to an eternity in a kind of monster-zombie-ghost state and pleaded with me to change my mind, to go colorful instead.  He pointed out that I had just done an albino painting and what kind of an artist was I to keep repeating looks, blah blah blah!! OKAY, I GET it!!

To get the ball rolling, Captain suggested that I give him a red coral beard.  Good idea! So I painted that.  Then I studied his eyes, and he seemed lost in thought, like he was trying to remember something, trying really hard.  So I painted his coat into brain coral. But he still couldn’t remember.  I then turned all of him into coral, and gave him four coral captain friends to make up the reef.  I popped in some fish to hide from the nonexistent predators . But what was the captain trying to remember? He couldn’t remember where his pipe was! Although it was right in his mouth!

Mrs. Breen is all over me to keep this one – believe me, an unusual occurrence!  She thinks this is one of the best paintings I’ve ever done.  Usually, when I finish one of these paintings, I just roll over and start snoring.  But I can’t stop staring at this one, lighting it cigarettes, bringing it breakfast in bed!  The color is impossible to capture properly with my camera.  My sea captain Breenalisa breensterpiece!

This one is expensive, and I am listing with a buy it now, not an auction.


Silent Shell


Text on this one says, ‘Andre wept because he couldn’t hear the ocean!’ Andre is holding a conch shell up to his ear, listening, but is also standing in the ocean.  His family, who have become manta ray and sea anemone heads, are thrilled to have just survived this paint over! In the original painting, Andre looked pissed off and a little mean. Since he was always finding fault with his cheerful family, I closed his eyes, gave him tears and made him get in touch with his sensitive side. He can’t hear the ocean even though he’s standing in it, desensitized by his long hard life and he weeps.

His family was thanking me for the breakthrough before I turned my attention to them.  Rule of thumb – in a multiportrait, heavily breen most of the heads! Since they were the happy-go-lucky ones, it was better to transform them as they had the psychological wherewithal to handle it! And, as a consolation, I made them rich by giving the daughter a pearl the size of a softball.  That’s the kind of guy I am, generous to my art!

This is a magnificent humungous breen with a lot of energy! Come and get it HERE.


Forever and Forever





Another hasty Valentine whipped up an hour before Mrs. Breen awoke! I didn’t have to do much here, just just slam the clown in the mouth to break a few teeth! That felt good! After I presented this one to Mrs. Breen she laughed nervously and then frowned as she became lost in the forevers.  I think this Breenentine will end up back in the studio like the others.  If you would like to share this warm message with others, punch one of the buttons below!

You’re Lucky To Be Mine!

Text says – ‘Although he’s a decent lover, Ellen’s had it with her smug albino boyfriend!’ The smug lover is handing Ellen a valentine (via fist puppet) that says ‘You’re lucky to be mine!’ Caveman Cupid is impaling the valentine saying ‘You’re blowing it!’ Ellen’s body harbors a cave which has a river and lots of cavefish. Text there says ‘There are plenty of other fish in the cave!’ Ellen’s hair is a leopard skin which I decked her in to give her strength.  And albino Venus standing is standing in a conch surrounded by tiny love fish.

Ellen! This is not your Prince Charming!!  You don’t have to settle! This is a tense breen!

To bid on this painting, go HERE.

Blackmail Valentine


Sorry! I don’t have the prebreen image on this one. Text on this one says – ‘Please be mine, or I’ll have to kill this chicken!’Woman says,”You really DO love me!”

This is the annual painting I made for Mrs. Breen last Valentine’s Day. As usual, I woke up in a panic, grabbed a prebreen and instantly scrawled a half formed idea on it, my best kind of work! But, like all my hastily painted valentines, it ended up back in my studio, hidden behind the door.

Of course, I couldn’t leave well enough alone and breened myself, adding a little of that polished sophistication you’re so used to. And I put it up for sale! Now YOU can make the same kind of indifferent impression on your partner that I make on Mrs. Breen! And for that secret someone you have a crush on? Send them this and wait for the restraining order – which just might mean maybe! At the very least, next time you dine on poultry, reflect on the fact that perhaps your meal was the result of a love unrequited.

I will send anyone who is interested a free hi-rez version of this file so you can print out a card for personal use. Just email me back and I’ll send it back as an attachment. Be aware, however, that Eddie Breen Industries and Eddie Breen bear no responsibility for any misuse of it’s visual imagery (such as viewing anything painted by the artist,) and possible resulting side effects, such as, relationship destruction, job loss, shunning(if you’re Amish), ADHD, sexual dysfunction, loss of appetite, nausea, blindness, madness or death.

Otherwise, have fun with it!

To buy this painting, go HERE.